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More info: Lightlife

 

Lightlife's Smart BBQ "heat and eat" pouch of veggie protein is an attempt to mimic barbecued pulled pork. I say "attempted" because it falls short.

The easiest thing about mimicking barbecue is the sauce, and Lightlife did an okay job. They could have done better.

Where Lightlife could have done a much better job is texture. What you think you're getting by looking at the packaging is something similar to the texture of pork. What you actually get (as seen in the picture below) is a pile of amorphous slop. If you had a big enough straw, you could probably drink this stuff. Not very appealing.

I've had great BBQ alt-pork sandwiches made with seitan, so I know what is possible. Lightlife needs a lot of improvement.

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More info: Health is Wealth

 

I came across the vegan Chicken-Free Patties at Whole Foods, and decided to see if they were any different than every other breaded alt-chicken patty I've tried - bland, tasteless textured protein masked with a zesty breading. Unfortunately, these are no different.

The Chicken-Free Patties try to get away with fooling your taste buds into believing you're eating a good ol' breaded fried chicken patty, but even though the breading is pretty good, it can't overcome the fact that the taste is just...lacking.

What these patties do have going for them is that they're vegan and they use organic flour.

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More info: Field Roast

 

I'm a big fan of Field Roast sausages. With most alt-sausages on the market tasting fairly similar, Field Roast's are a true standout.

Do you like spicy food? If not, Mexican Chipotle sausages aren't for you. They pack quite a zing. I like spicy food, but one of my pet peeves - especially with veg*n products - is companies trying to mask the blandness of their foods with spices (see: Boca Chili). Field Roast does an admirable job balancing the flavor and the spiciness.

The texture of Field Roast sausages is also pretty unique. I know people who are turned off by it, claiming that the sausages are too "rubbery," but I find it to be a plus.

My only dislike of Field Roasts's alt-sausages is that they come individually wrapped in plastic casings that you have to cut off. It's not a huge deal, but the Mexican Chipotle links come infused with a red sauce that, if you're not careful while trying to extract the sausage, can stain clothing. So be careful.

The Field Roast Mexican Chipotle Sausages are definitely worth the trek to Whole Foods for me. (Whole Foods is the only place I've ever seen Field Roast.) So if you're looking for a change of pace from the boring, run-of-the-mill alt-sausages out there, give these a try.

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More info: Gardenburger

 

It's hard to find a "naked" alt-chicken cutlet/patty that doesn't rely on its breading for its flavor. Gardenburger's Chik'n Grill patties rocket past anything else I've had to date, however, and take their place on the throne as the King of Cutlets.

I fried a patty in olive oil for 5-10 mins and slapped it on a whole wheat bun with a little cheese. I'm not sure of the voodoo behind it, but pan-frying these patties results in a taste and texture very similar to a real pan-fried chicken cutlet. I didn't even need any condiments. The patty was moist and delicious enough on its own.

I just can't say enough about these alt-chicken patties. What Morningstar's Cheddar Grillers are to alt-beef, the Chik'n Grills are to alt-chicken. If you see these patties in a store, buy them without hesitation.

I'm a little nervous, however, because I can't find them on Gardenburger's website. I'm really hoping that doesn't mean that they've been discontinued. I have an email in to Gardenburger, and I'll update this review if/when Gardenburger responds.

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More info: Lightlife

 

Hot dogs aren't really one of those "meat" foods that I miss terribly, but I do get a hankerin' for one occasionally. Unfortunately, Lightlife's Smart Jumbo Dogs don't do much to fill that void.

The taste of these alt-dogs are okay I guess, but the texture just kills it for me. Real hot dogs have a crisp bite to them and give you something to chew on. Lightlife's Smart Jumbo Dogs are like eating bean paste. In fact, while eating these dogs, it was hard to tell where the dog ended and the bun began.

These just weren't enjoyable to eat. So if you're looking for a good alt-hot dog, look elsewhere.

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More info: Lightlife

 

Lightlife's Smart Tex-Mex packs are part of Lightlife's "Heat'n Eat" collection. They are microwaveable packets and a snap to prepare. Just pop 'em in the micro for a couple of minutes, and you're ready to go. (Having a tortilla on hand is helpful, however.)

The Tex-Mex mix tastes pretty good. It is a great burrito filler, and would also do quite well as a dip for tortilla chips. It's not spicy, and has a little sweetness to it. Based on taste alone, I'd give it 5 stars, but serving size is a problem.

The package says that each pack has 3 servings. This is just not true if you're considering using it for burrito filling. I used the entire package for one moderately sized burrito. These Heat'n Eat packs are $3-$4, and for that price, I might as well go to Chipotle down the street and get a big veggie burrito.

These Tex-Mex packs would have to be on a 2-for-1 sale for me to get them again, which is sad, because they're pretty tasty.

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Trader Joe's Breaded Chickenless Nuggets are about as original as their name - not very. But that's not a bad thing when it comes to alt-chicken nuggets. For some reason, it seems to be very easy to make really good alt-chicken nuggets, and Trader Joe's doesn't buck the trend.

I popped a handful of nuggets in the toaster oven for 15-20 minutes, and they turned out perfect. The breaded crust was slightly crispy, and the texture and taste were both very close to real nuggets. You're not going to get the taste and texture of high quality all-white meat nuggets, but you'll definitely get nuggets that are a step above most fast food nuggets.

I wouldn't hesitate to get these again.

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More info: Dr. Praeger's

 

As I've stated in the past, I'm ironically not a huge fan of veggie-laden veggie burgers, so the odds of me liking a California veggie patty are slim. Gardenburger was able to do it with their California veggie burgers, which use brown rice to hold their shape and boost their flavor. Dr. Praeger's patties are more traditional. They're very heavy on the veggies and fall apart if you mishandle them even slightly after cooking. But the main question is: How do they taste?

Dr. Praeger's California veggie patties taste and look like you'd expect - like veggies. The patties are green with chunks of carrots and peas sticking out. Here is a list of the veggies in the order of their abundance:

Carrot, Onion, Stringbeans, Soybeans, Zucchini, Peas, Spinach, Broccoli, Corn, and Red Pepper.

If that sounds like a good mix of veggies, you'll probably really like these alt-burgers. For me it was just too much for these to be a mainstay in my freezer. I like vegetables, but only in moderation - not as the full meal.

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More info: Lightlife

 

In my quest to find really good alt-Italians, I came across Lightlife's Smart Italians, and while they're not perfect, they are the best I've had so far.

To mimic a real Italian sausage, you have to match the taste and unique texture. The Lightlife Smart Italians come closer in both areas than the Boca Italians. The spices are closer to actual Italian sausage-style spices, and the somewhat "chunky" texture is much closer to real Italians than the smooth texture that most alt-sausages have.

To cook mine, I just popped it in the microwave. There's probably not much to be gained from grilling or baking these.

(Ignore my really lame mustard application)

If you're in the mood for an alt-Italian sausage, Lightlife's Smart Italians are pretty darn good.

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More info: Nate's

 

A simple law of food is that anything deep-fried is good, and Nate's Beef Style Taquitos don't disappoint. They look and taste like regular taquitos.

I cooked six of them in the toaster and drizzled a little salsa verde on them for a little extra zing. They were quite tasty. I didn't notice the lack of real beef at all. That's fairly easy to do with taco seasoning. And the tortilla and soy beans are organic.

The only drawback to these delicious treats is the nutrition. I glanced at the box and remarked at the pretty good numbers - especially given that they're fried. Then I noticed that the serving size is only *one* taquito. Ha! So my meal actually ended up containing 1260mg of sodium and 27g of fat (only 3g saturated).

So if you like Mexican food, don't hesitate getting Nate's Beef Style Taquitos. For your health's sake, however, do hesitate eating them too often.